


If Louis Was Given A Chance

by Ivylocked



Category: One Direction
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Bullying, Closeted Louis, Cutting, Depression, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Sad Ending, Sad Harry, Self-Harming Harry, Suicide, louis and harry are childhood best friends, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-08
Updated: 2015-01-08
Packaged: 2018-03-06 17:09:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3142184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ivylocked/pseuds/Ivylocked
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If he was given a chance,events wouldn't turn out as they did. It's too late now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If Louis Was Given A Chance

If Louis was given a chance.  
If Louis was given a chance,he wouldn't refuse his toy to the little Harry when they were 4 and 6 ,making a little boy cry and laughing at him. Little Louis did not apologize but a few minutes later they were best friends again,they were laughing and they were playing. They were little kids at the time and he didn't know. But if Louis was given a chance he would give that meaningless toy to happy little Harry,so he could see his beautiful smile and his beautiful dimples that he has taken away,with that meaningless toy. 

If Louis was given a chance,he would swallow up the kicks and shouts that Harry had to tolerate that one day when they were 10 and 12 and Louis couldn't keep his mouth shout. He wouldn't stay by side and he wouldn't look at innocent little Harry getting beaten up till he bled,because he was just a little different. And Louis was too. But he was a coward and a traitor and he didn't want those kicks and shouts and slurs so he instead watched his best friend,his happy little innocent Harry suffer under the kicks and shouts and slurs.

If Louis was given a chance,he'd wipe those tears away from Harry's face when they were 16 and 18,and when it was prom night and everyone was there and they were all wearing formal clothing like dresses and tuxedos and girls were wearing corsages that matched their date's boutonnieres and Harry was home. He was home alone and he was crying because he was desperate to be like the most of the boys attending the prom with their girlfriends.

He was crying because his best friend and his biggest crush has had been on that prom with his girlfriend,and oh how he wished he could have or copy Louis' perfect facade of being straight normal boy and acting in love with his lovely,long haired girlfriend when he really knew Louis is not the boy he is in school but a boy he is when he is with Harry.  
Harry loved that boy the most and the same boy hurt his heart the most. That boy loved Harry too but the facade he was wearing all his life didn't let the love outside in the real world.  
So Harry has hoped that all his love he had for Louis could escape like the blood in the deep cuts he has been making on his arm over this past few years.   
If Louis was given a chance,he would stay at Harry's,he would cuddle and comfort him the best he could,he would make him throw away all the razors,and kiss his wounds and he would apologize and they would cry but this time of happiness. 

If Louis was given a chance,if he was at least this one sad,terrifying day given a chance when they are 20 and 22,he would go into Harry's room sooner. He wouldn't find the lifeless body of his love laying on the bed without any colour in his usually pink stained cheeks,and the brown curly hair Louis adored,crowning his head like a halo because he was an angel. He was Louis' angel. That angel was now on the sky where he belonged,and that angel did not deserve things that happened to him and Louis wishes so much he knew it. But that emptiness which is now swimming through Louis heart ,that cold,dark emptiness was so well deserved on Louis' side and he knows it. He was one big part of Harry's life and his role was to make him happy instead of crying almost every night,quietly in his pillow,wishing this unbearable pain would stop. Louis' role was to guide Harry through the better decision that taking those pills that night with the right amount of alcohol.   
And he is in immense pain and he is asking for a chance to make all those events right.

But Louis was not given a chance. He refused his toy to happy little Harry,he didn't take the hits instead of happy little innocent Harry,he didn't comfort the depressed,crying Harry. He was not given a chance to fix those things and to save his beautiful boy.  
So on the day when his angel is supposed to be buried six feet under the dark cold dirt and he would not ever see him again, he is standing up in his attic on that dirty little chair he found laying around out of use, he is careful not to fall since his body is trembling,and his face is wet and the world is blurry, but he is careful and gripping on that rope as he puts around his neck,just for this once he is not a coward or a bully for Harry.  
He is done here. With the last motion of his legs knocking the chair,he whispers two things he was never given a chance to say to his angel.

"I'm sorry. I love you."

**Author's Note:**

> sorry.  
> tell me what to tag if i forgot anything


End file.
